An Observation from A Pregnant Perspective

This is suppose to be funny! Just wanted to clarify that! Skip this entry if your sense of humor doesn't lend itself to sarcasm. It contains honesty on my part that not all of pregnancy is sunshine and roses. It is not directed at any one person and it just up for a good laugh!

I'm really enjoying my second trimester. However, I find it interesting that once people know you're expecting, all common courtesy is thrown out the window! I think people blame the grouchiness of preggos on hormones, but I'm starting to think it's in response to stupid, and inappropriate questions people ask you! I had a lady ask me this morning "When are you going to put on some weight and start looking pregnant?" I responded, "You know, I'm just going to hit the next person that asks me that!" We laughed, but she got the picture. How are you suppose to answer? "Actually, I'm on the anorexia pregnancy diet. Thanks for noticing?" You know, I don't walk up to people and say "When you going to get into shape?" or "When are you going to treat that dandruff?" Why on earth do people think it's appropriate to comment on your appearance now? The anthropologist in me finds this fascinating, but the female that is putting on the inches and is just trying to survive as a host to this new creature gets hostile!

Someone emailed me this letter recently and I found it hilarious, but also very accurate! I can honestly say I agree with everything on here! I actually changed a few of the words and phrases to soften it (if you can believe that!). I hope you get a kick out of it, and PLEASE remember it when conversing with those of us that have chosen to share our bodies with a new life.

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm.

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "our baby".

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.

4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing all of them. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.

8) Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents’ home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who just gave birth lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

God have mercy on all pregnant woman. May everyone else treat their blessings as such and allow them to enjoy the gift of new life!